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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25968172">He Deserves it....Right?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathByBeanie/pseuds/DeathByBeanie'>DeathByBeanie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Emotional Manipulation, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, OOC, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Tired Saihara Shuichi, idk how to describe this other than sad, im sorry, shuichi apologizes a lot, sorry - Freeform, vent - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:47:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,517</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25968172</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathByBeanie/pseuds/DeathByBeanie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone's just come back from winter break.  Everyone seems really happy that they got to see their families again.  Well, almost everyone.</p>
<p> <br/>Tw self harm implied child abuse and the use of the r-slur</p>
<p>This is a ventfic im sorry  if it's really bad.....yeah</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akamatsu Kaede &amp; Saihara Shuichi, Oma Kokichi &amp; Saihara Shuichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>148</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>He Deserves it....Right?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a vent fic.......sorry stuffs just been messing with me lately<br/>schools back though.....and i wrote this in the middle of the night whoops<br/>did i just give shuichi all of my problems......maybe</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Get that glum look off your face!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you upset?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you want people to think we beat you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop looking so tired.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop saying sorry.  There’s enough sorry people in the world.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Why?  Why is he such a bad kid?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop acting like a Retard!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You make us look like bad parents when you act like that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop acting retarded do you wanna end up on the streets for the rest of your life?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Shuichi help me out with something will you?”  Kaede called from the kitchen area of the dorms.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What did he do wrong?  He did something.  What did he do?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What did he do?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What did he do?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What did he do?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What did he do?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What did he do?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What did he do?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Getting up from his spot in the armchair Saihara went to see what Kaede needed help with.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah s-sure what’s up Kaede?”  Idiot. You sound like a retard when you stutter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was wondering if you would like to help me prepare for dinner tonight!”  Kaede smiled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mustering up a small smile of his own he shrugged.  “Sure why not.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That’s how he spent his afternoon, helping Kaede prepare dinner for everyone's return from winter break.  Everyone probably had a good time.  Maki helped out at her orphanage.  Kaito spent his time with his Grandparents.  Kokichi pulling most likely illegal stunts with D.I.C.E.  Kaede getting to play music with her sister again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He spent time with his parents.  Everything is fine at home.  He’s just an ungrateful brat who can’t seem to understand how to act normal.  There are plenty of people out there who have it so much worse.  What right does he have to complain?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he and Kaede finished cooking he went upstairs to knock on everyone’s doors to let them know food was ready.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t need to knock twice for anyone.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Quickly speeding to the kitchen Shuichi helped Kaede set the table as everyone started to grab their food.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They were having breakfast for dinner.  Shuichi grabbed himself an egg and a slice of bacon.  If he ate anymore he would feel guilty.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just putting this much on his plate made him feel like he was taking from someone.  He doesn’t deserve the right to have this much food.   He should be starving on the streets where he would inevitably die.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He rubs his wrist.  Don’t think about that right now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Dinner was okay.  Everyone talked about their time at home.  Kokichi and D.I.C.E. pranked their dad’s by covering the ceiling entirely with sticky notes.  One of their dad’s supposedly blew them down with a leafblower.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey Shuichi what did you do over the break?”  Kaito grinned, turning the table's attention away from Kaito’s own rant that Shuichi wasn’t exactly listening to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“O-oh, uh well I was i-in the states with my, my parents for the most part.”  He smiled.  It felt forced.  You love them, don't be ungrateful.  “All we really did was go to business parties so nothing to-o interesting.”   Retard.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You went to business parties Saihara-chan?  Talk about fancy!”  Kokichi laughed.  Yeah, fancy.  And horrifying the amount of caution you have to use in those parties is horrible. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Giving Kokichi a small smile Shuichi turned his attention to Tojo “Did anything interesting happen for you over the break Tojo?”  Following his question Tojo started talking about how her boss hired another maid and she got to train her.   She sounds really happy talking about her coworkers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shouldn’t be here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shouldn’t be here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shouldn’t be here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shouldn’t be here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He should leave.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Having eaten nothing but an egg Shuichi stood up and excused himself from the table with an apology added on just in case. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After rinsing his plate and putting it in the dishwasher Shuichi quickly sped to his room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Walkin in to see plane walls and a clean floor immediately made his already bad anxiety worse.  It feels too big.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi took a moment to throw a few books onto the floor around him.  Something to make the room seem smaller.  He deserves less.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a slight nod at the now cluttered room Shuichi leaned up against his bed taking a bit to read one of the mystery novels that his uncle gifted him for Christmas. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As he read the book he started to realize he wasn’t processing anything he was reading.  Idiot.  He can’t even fucking read.  Closing the book Shuichi went to burn some incense before heading to the bathroom.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shouldn’t do this again.  He’s been clean for three weeks.  He really shouldn’t do this.  He’s being selfish.  He shouldn’t do this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he has to.  He deserves any pain life gives him.  Hell, he deserves more.  Life isn’t harsh enough on him.  He deserves so much worse than he has.  He’s such and ungrateful fucking child.  He doesn’t deserve anything life has given him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slice</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He should just die in a ditch somewhere.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slice</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He should run away with a bottle of sleeping pills and take them behind some dumpster.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slice </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The blood is running down his arm and onto the floor now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slice</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He deserves it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slice</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He deserves worse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slice</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slice </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slice</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He deserves so much worse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slice</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slice</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slice</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slice</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Slice</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stops.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t feel like bandaging his arm right now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe he will bleed out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He smiles at that. Wouldn’t that be nice.</span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There’s a knock at his door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Saihara-chan!  Helloo!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Double shit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Grabbing his black jacket Shuichi threw it on and opened the door to find Ouma looking up at him expectantly.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi wished he passed out from blood loss.  He’ll do that later.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello Ouma how can i help you?”  Shuichi asked slowly.  If he stuttered right now he might just kill himself.  He knows that doing that right now would be selfish though he’d hate for any of his classmates to be traumatized from seeing his dead body.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ouma pushed his way inside his room.  Shit!  He left the bathroom door half open.  The light’s off maybe he won't notice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well I was just wondering how my beloved Saihara-chan was doing after how terribly frightened he looked at dinner this afternoon.”  Ouma pouted, throwing his arms behind his head.  “But that was a lie though.  “Why would a supreme leader like myself involve himself with your worthless feelings?”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh i’m doing fine Ouma don’t worry.” Shuichi fiddled with the sleeves of his jacket.  The blood was starting to seep through.  If Ouma notices he’s doomed.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ouma took a moment to look around the room. “Why’d you already trash the place Saihara-chan?  What did you just throw your stuff around the moment you could?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s not wrong.  But Shuichi probably shouldn’t say that.  He was starting to get really light headed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ouma continued to pace around the room looking around at his mess.  He stopped next to his bathroom.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Saihara-chan,”  Ouma smiled kindly.  That was a lie though.  Ouma looked pissed.  “Why does your bathroom reek of blood?”  Feeling his anxiety skyrocket Shuichi put his hands up trying to wave away any misunderstandings Ouma would have.  Another lie.  Ouma knew exactly what happened and so did Shuichi.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ouma grabbed his injured wrist.  His vision went white for a second and Shuichi felt his knees buckle as he almost passed out.  Ouma caught his other wrist as he fell and they both ended up on their knees.  Shuichi had his head down, hair covering his eyes.  He felt like he was going to be sick.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ouma knew.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His parents would be so disappointed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>How worthless</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>How idiotic</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>How irresponsible </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can’t even have one thing to himself.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>This is the punishment life has decided to throw at him now huh.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ouma was sliding his jacket off.  He could see the scars running up and down his arm, he could see the open cuts still bleeding heavily.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi stared at his damaged arm.  There goes his three weeks.  He felt tears start to prick the corners of his eyes.  He hates everything.  He should’ve died after his first attempt.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With gentle hands Ouma was wrapping his scarf around Shuichi’s bleeding arm. Why was he? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“W-wh-”  He couldn’t talk properly.  The lump in his throat was too big.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re such an idiot.”  The smaller boy replies, tightening the scarf.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knows.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-i kn-kn-know.”  Shuichi croaks out still looking down at his bedroom carpet.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Whether his stomach was twisting with regret or blood loss he couldn’t say.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ouma turns his head to give Shuichi his truthful expression. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Completely deadpan Ouma states “You’re not an idiot that was a lie.  But were being dumb by doing that to yourself.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knows.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-i’m s-s-sorry.” Shuichi whispers, feeling like he might fall over at any second.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ouma grabs him by the shoulders and hugs him.  Shuichi flinched at the embrace before sinking into it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now that he thinks about it this is the first time he’s ever been hugged without an ulterior motive.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Idiot.”  He mutters into his shirt.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knows</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>im sorry for having shuichi call himself the r-slur but this was me projecting a bit too much and my parents always called me it and i hc  shuichi's parents to be similar sorry</p>
<p>please don't call ppl this word ik i probably have no right to even write it but it can really hurt people....<br/>sorry<br/>anyways thanks for reading ig</p></blockquote></div></div>
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